Is it wrong for a man to hit a woman if she hits him first?

I am a 32 year old man from Ohio and lately my wife of 4 years has been becoming physical during our ever growing amount of disputes. I love her dearly but lately when we argue she has been hitting, Kicking and throwing stuff at me. She’s blacked my eye and has gave me quite a few good licks. I am having a hard time not hitting her back..In fact I seem to be getting more upset as the time goes by that I don’t hit her….Is it wrong for a man to hit a woman? Is it wrong for a man to hit a woman that hits him first?? I appreciate and look forward to your answers!